Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Week 16

The Pea is 13 weeks here and that means another scan. And since it is 3 months generally speaking all should be okay and you can announce the good news to the rest of the world. So when the dr said it all appeared good we soon told everyone. It was a weird feeling going back to work that afternoon with a big smile on my face. First I told my manager, when I asked to have a private conversation with him he thought I had been for a job interview and wanted to give my notice and he was pleasantly surprised when I told him we had just seen our unborn baby. Next it was my turn to tell everyone else. A bit hesitant at first...how often do you say you are going to be a dad,..... and the more I said it, the easier it became...... Anyhoo the 'secret' was out. Finally after 6-7 weeks of telling the occasional white lie.
Here Pea is finely looking more like a little person.

The Pea at 13 weeks
When you do the 13 week scan they measure the ambionic fluid in the baby's neck to detect if your baby possibly has Down Syndrome and it appeared not to be so in our case. With a relieved heart we left the hospital, pleased to have seen Pea.
The scan looked fine....however on Wednesday Caroline called me at work. Quite upset....I didn't know for sure what had happened....but knew I had to go home. Caroline received a call from a nurse at our hospital, a genetic counsellor. From the blood test they could tell we had an increased chance of Trisomy 18/Edwards Syndrome. And if both of us could come in to the hospital and meet her straight away the next day. And that it was better not to go on the Internet to look what that meant........

Pea had a 1 in 300 chance of Edwards Syndrome it meant basically that Pea would have a very slim chance of being born alive. 95% of babies diagnosed die within the womb and if they don't die within the womb half will certainly not survive past the first two months after being born.

So from being happy expectant parents we hit rock bottom thinking we might lose Pea either before it being born or not soon after.........
And we had to think the unthinkable of what to do? I did go on the Internet and learnt more then you probably want to know, but I thought I wanted to be prepared. Learn more at Wikipedia which from what we described to the Genetic Counsellor had it pretty much correct.

We had a few options she said.
One: Do nothing. 1 in 306 was our odds (Caroline's obstetrician who we called before going to the counsellor said if it was a race horse you would not bet on it)
The councellor also said we were borderline, whether for the hospital to let us know or not. Another hospital, she said might not have even bothered to tell us until it was 1 in 250 perhaps.
Two: Have further testing done in the form of a CVS. Unfortunately the risks involved of miscarriage by performing CVS are the same as our chances for Edwards Syndrome. The first test result would come in 3-4 days and the final and definitive result in 2 weeks.
Three: Have another foetal anomaly scan done at 18 weeks.
Four: Based on the outcome of options two and three.......

From what we discussed already the previous evening and a long night we decided to go for the CVS. And the genetic counsellor and Caroline's obstetrician supported us in our choice. Our reasoning being was it had upset us this much already that Pea had now become a time-bomb for us. Not knowing what could happen to it and when tomorrow, next week, 2 months from now......??? The emotions associated with it, you don't wish on anyone.

They booked us in for the CVS, that Monday after the weekend...It was quite hard staying positive and strong and we both had our moments, but I think we did well supporting each other. So on Monday we saw another specialist and Pea again. Pea was bouncing around literally. I was allowed to stay with Caroline while they performed the transabdominal CVS. And holding my breath most of the time. Caroline did good, it hurt quite a bit I think for the next few days. From having seen the needle they put in her I can only imagine how much....

Luckily for us the preliminary test came back after a long long long wait 'negative' as no Edwards Syndrome detected. The genetic counsellor had said she had never seen a first test result that was negative be positive on the definitive test. The weight of the world had lifted somewhat from our shoulders......The stress that week was unbelievable, meanwhile the world goes on you both still have your work to go to and evening classes for me and each other you try to be positive for.

The final result came in Tuesday the 17th of March. They haven't found anything abnormal. We can finally enjoy being pregnant again!!!

And because they did a test where they look at the chromosomes they could tell what sex it is going to be..................................................................and is it a boy????....or a girl????
It's a BOY!!!!

We have always said we didn't really care either way a boy or a girl as long as it was going to be healthy. Coincidently we already had a girl's name we liked but no boy's name yet. Although in one of the name books I came across the boy's name Dont which could make things interesting.
- Dont eat your veggies!
- Dont go to bed!
- Dont eat with your mouth closed!
- Dont have a shower!
- Dont do your homework!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Coldplay


On Saturday we went to see Coldplay play at the Acer Arena.
They put on a great show and were really involved with the audience playing on several mini podiums in the Arena.

The Pea's second concert, when he grows up he can't say we didn't take him anywhere.

Sunday, March 01, 2009

the "Pea"

It has been a while since my last post and a lot has happened since..... A whole lot has happened.
And we had to keep it a secret. I'll backdate the following posts as much as I can. Monday the 12th of January was like most Mondays. And when I came home from work I was first welcomed by Sam...our neighbour's cat, who thinks she still lives here. So I sat down in the doorway and stroked her for a bit. Caroline must have finished early and she came from upstairs. "I've got something to show you." I didn't know what to say.... We had been trying so it wasn't a complete surprise but when you do see it spelt out right in front of you ....Pregnant..... it changes everything.

Pregnant!!! =)
On Wednesday Caroline went to her GP and after another wee on a stick, it was confirmed we were pregnant. We were asked whether we wanted to have an early scan made to check if it was looking okay and to give us a preliminary due date......and the answer was Yes!!!

The Pea at 7 weeks and 4 days (11.5mm)
It was a mere 11.5 mm here, but that enabled them to estimate the due date.
Pea should be due on the 10th of September which is MY birthday....of all the days in the year it could have chosen. It is only an estimation but considering my Dad had to share his birthday with mine (four days apart), I can sympathise now. Anyway still early days the due date might still change.

We were excited and very pleased and still are, but now the hard bit came as Caroline was only 7 weeks pregnant we still had another 6-7 weeks before we could announce it to everyone. You'll be surprised how often pregnancy and babies come up in general conversations with colleagues and friends when you can't tell.

Funnily enough Caroline's sister Sue is pregnant as well and almost 2 months ahead of us. So when Caroline called her parents to tell them the good news Caroline said: "You know you wait for ages at a bus stop and all of a sudden 2 come at once, well......."

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